Okay, so you’ve got a great idea! You spend weeks, months, years – make that several years – writing your book and you want to share it with the world. You’ve got your core audience in mind and you’re ready to hit the speaking circuit. You know the mechanics of how to make it happen but there’s all kinds of internal thought processes going on that you didn’t anticipate. It’s more than logistics, these are nagging, doubt-filled thoughts that tempt you to compromise yourself and your work. Before you do, consider:
Don’t . . .
- Barter. There will be people who won’t want to pay your price so they’ll offer you something in trade, “I’ll give you free rent on the conference space, if you’ll cut your price in half.” This is different than negotiating; this is trading something tangible to discount your price. Ask yourself, “Who’s gaining and who’s losing?” by accepting this deal.
- Violate your process. Someone will want to dictate what you can say or do to their audience. A renowned vocalist was engaged to sing at a luncheon. Just before she went on stage, the host said, “You can sing, but please, don’t say anything.” Her story was integral to her music, and it put her in an awkward spot.
- Try to do it alone. When you’re in the weeds of your creative work, you’re looking at details but you’re not looking at the overall picture. You are slaying little tiny dragons but you don’t see the vast fiery pit just ahead. Get advice from someone who knows the landscape. Hire a coach whose job it is to strategize, advise, and point to the road you should follow.
- Punish those who hurt you. Has anyone ever taken your idea and claimed it for their own? Has anyone ever promised you something and left you empty handed? Has anyone ever betrayed you for their own advantage? Don’t waste time on revenge. Before this ever happens, and it will, decide who you want to be as an ideal person, and then square your shoulders and become that person when you need to. Feel the hurt privately but publicly, be the better person.
- Compromise your quality. So, you’ve been doing the speaking gig for a while and no one would notice if you cut 15 minutes, or didn’t present all your points, or sent an assistant to do your presentation, right? No. Every audience deserves your best no matter how many have come to hear you speak or how much you don’t want to show up that day.
- Discount your value. Has anyone ever said to you, “Who do you think you are?” If you’ve said it to yourself, you’re on your way to self-defeatism. You and your work are intrinsically valuable and if you sabotage yourself, you have no one to blame. And, by the way, don’t let anyone else get away with devaluing you. You choose who to listen to. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt.
- Be deceptive. Say what you mean and do what you say. Just as there are no half-lies, there are no half-truths. Be authentic.
- Discount the quality of a good name. A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. ~Proverbs 22:1. Enough said.
- Do business in your feelings. When you’re sizing up an opportunity, how much are you reflecting on the other person’s ability to pay or participate? You make excuses like, “They’re a charity . . .”; or “They can’t afford my fee . . .”; or “These are friends . . . “ Stop! Your clients are paying for your value and expertise. If you discount it or do it for free, it becomes less valuable. Let other people own their feelings. You own your value.
- Overpromise. Someone always needs things in a hurry, can’t change their calendar, has certain demands made on them and they’ll want to drag you into their drama. There’s a simple mantra for this: Under promise and over deliver. Works every time.
- Argue with a fool. There are people who love the sound of their own voice no matter how unreasonable. Proverbs 23:9 says it well, Do not speak to a fool, for he will scorn the wisdom of your words. Whatever you call a disagreeable, contentious person, don’t argue with them. They will drag you down to their own level and because of their experience there, they will beat you at their own game.
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